It should have ended forty minutes ago!
Connor MacDonald
Alright, you want to know if you should waste your money on an expensive ticket to see It Ends? The answer is a resounding NO! Not unless you’re a pretentious film critic with more money to burn than a Zimbabwean banker in the middle of a crisis.
The movie is about three friends (if you can call them that), on a road leading…nowhere. Much like a meandering shaggy dog’s tale where the punchline is how much time I’ve made you waste, this movie shares all the similarities with none of the benefits.
I’m sure we are all familiar with the type of guy (or girl) who wants to appear intellectual. Like they’ve somehow cracked the code, and we are all unenlightened rubes for not following their latest artistic wank session. I do not believe that leaving blank spaces for an audience to construct a story is something the average moviegoer wants to do. If I wanted to sit around and discuss philosophy on film, I’d watch something more poignant like Happy Gilmore.
When a piece of media lacks any purpose or identity, people will often construct one to fill in the blanks. They don’t want to be the person “left out” of the intellectual masturbatory session, so they pretend how profound a piece is. Yes, the empty highway is an artistic tool used to invert the tropes of a highway being the “freedom focused highway story”. Our protagonists are trapped on this sprawling highway with no end in sight. Enslaved to the road.
Perhaps it is criticizing how Gen Z feels like we’re spinning our wheels without going anywhere. The mild horror scenes of people chasing after their car might make you anxious, if you haven’t seen all those videos of truck drivers being truckjacked in broad daylight. Folks, it happens in real life!
My answer is this: It doesn’t matter what they’re trying to say. Is it entertaining? It might not be an action movie, but is it as entertaining as other existential films? While it is not an apt 1:1 comparison, I think of slow burn films such as The Quiet Earth, Don’t Look Now, or even The Man from Earth.
I think there is room for slow burning movies. Where the atmosphere (The Quiet Earth, Don’t Look Now) helps carry the movie. Watching It Ends didn’t make me feel dread or terror. It made me feel something worse. BOREDOM!
Even intellectually it was boring. They ask questions like “Are we in hell? Are we in purgatory?”. As if that hasn’t been beaten to death a million times by tropes. The scene in which they scream to vent their frustrations made me physically cringe. We need to have our daily screaming sessions to get through the frustrations of being young!
Perhaps it’s because I’m Gen Z myself. I’ve watched the film and read other reviews. How they applaud the work of Gen Z into creating existential horror films. That my generation is more anxious about relationships, the futility of life, and the hiddenness of meaning.
The absolute worst is how you can tell much of this was developed through listening to “writing seminars”. It’s overly constructed for the purpose of an art professor to nod thoughtfully and say, “That was a nice call back.” The only thing it was missing was Marvel quips! At the start of the film, the friends discuss what animals would win in a fight. At the end, the same discussion is brought up. This time without the comfort of friends, but with a stranger who is catatonic (much like most of the audience would be, at this point).
I will give credit to the actors, who did perform as best as they could. I never thought that they were bad, quite the contrary. My favourite performance was from Akira Jackson as “Day”. I don’t even have an issue with the writing or directing. I think Alexander Ullom did a fine job. The primary issue is within the bones of the story. The very foundation it is built upon would better serve as a short film, not a feature length film.
That is the crux of the issue. Can the film sustain the runtime it subjects moviegoers to? If this was a forty minute short film, my criticism would be softened. It wouldn’t overstay its welcome, and would simply feel more “dreadful” with how contained it would be.
Unfortunately, with the success of films like Backrooms and Obsession, producers will rush to these boring long drawn out films that supposedly “explain the anxieties of Gen Z”. That’s exactly what happened with this film. It was released a year ago, experienced moderate success through film festivals and online horror communities, and was left in limbo until NEON picked up the rights for a theatrical release.
The ending of the film is what really sold me on the overly constructed quality of the film. James (played by Phineas Yoon) reaches the “end” of the road. It’s a sign which says “Road Ends” (which, I think, is a subtle nod to “Road Work Ahead…I sure hope it does.”)
I thought the movie would end with him screaming. It does not. Instead he gets back into the car (Oh my god, another driving scene) and finds a man played by director Alexander Ullom. They discuss which animals would win in a fight. Isn’t it nice when films tie things together?
Based on my totally arbitrary rating system, I will give this a three out of ten. It is saved from being lower based on the performances, but little else. If you enjoy long, boring, surface-level philosophical films, perhaps you’d like it. If you want a bit more substance, actual development, momentum, or things happening, it’s best to skip this film. At least until it’s free to watch. It would make for a good movie to fall asleep to.
⭐ 3 / 10
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