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Reviews

Philistine Reviews (Uncultured)

You want to steal our opinions on film? Music? Games? Look no further than our junk pile.

Latest

  • Manhunter (1986) Film Review

    Manhunter (1986) is a slow-burn psychological thriller filled with oppressive synths, striking cinematography, and an excellent performance from William Petersen as a profiler slowly losing himself inside the minds of killers. Brian Cox and Tom Noonan round out a film that is eerie, intelligent, and far more interested in atmosphere than action.

  • Wildcat (2025) Movie Review

    Jason has another vulgar filled rant about women in movies. Who would have guessed?

  • Mayday (2026) Movie Review

    If only Maria Bakalova got naked in this, FUCK! By: Jason Opening with a long winded, bullshit jet fighter pilot training scene. Absolutely terrible. What is this, a fucking knockoff Top Gun (1986)? Oh no! A malfunction with one of the fighter jets. Well, good thing Ryan Reynolds is there, always the humorous badass character…

  • The Runner (2026) Movie Review

    Gal Gadot gallops through a garishly gnarly movie that’s…garbage.

  • Citizen Vigilante (2026) Movie Review

    Citizen Vigilante is a violent, politically charged revenge fantasy with a great premise, uneven execution, and an Armie Hammer performance that carries the chaos.

  • What the hell is 7th Heaven?

    A stoned journey through 7th Heaven, the bizarrely wholesome ’90s family drama where Reverend Camden solves everyone’s problems, Matt is somehow the bad boy, and every episode comes with a moral lesson.

  • BatMUD (1990) Video Game Review

    An old-school text-based MMO where you can explore, join guilds, build campfires, and live your best life as a gigantic cyclops Ranger.

  • Dark City (1998) Movie Review

    Dark City is a grimy neo-noir science-fiction thriller packed with oppressive architecture, strange performances, dated-but-charming CGI, and questions about identity and reality. Despite a few bizarre costume choices, its atmosphere, acting, music, and worldbuilding make it an easy recommendation for fans of darker sci-fi.

  • Ghost in the Cell (2026) Movie Review

    Ghost in the Cell blends supernatural horror, prison drama, and absurd slapstick comedy into a strange but entertaining mix. Its inventive gore and political commentary stand out, even if the humor and character relationships fall short. It is worth a stream for horror fans curious about Indonesian cinema.

  • Prosperous Universe (2022) Video Game Review

    Prosperous Universe is a game dedicated to a very small number of people, a niche type of gamer who enjoys economic spreadsheet games, but who doesn’t want to deal with the piracy elements of Eve Online.