Mayday (2026) Movie Review

If only Maria Bakalova got naked in this, FUCK!

By: Jason N. Mulhall

Opening with a long winded, bullshit jet fighter pilot training scene. Absolutely terrible. What is this, a fucking knockoff Top Gun (1986)? Oh no! A malfunction with one of the fighter jets. Well, good thing Ryan Reynolds is there, always the humorous badass character that saves the day while making you laugh. He’ll swoop in and save the day, narrowly missing a devastating crash while doing so.

A healthy amount of political commentary about how the wars of our leaders are not the wars of us kind of shit. How the leaders of our countries brainwash us into hating one another when, in reality, we have lots in common, and that there are good people no matter where you go in the world. Yeah… that’s exactly what these dumb cunts traveling alone think, then they go and get slaughtered.

I don’t feel as though Ryan Reynolds really suits any role of a military service member. I mean, hell, it didn’t even feel right having him in The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017) (not too bad of a movie, though). Don’t get me wrong, I love Ryan Reynolds. He has a plethora of great movies: The Amityville Horror (2005), Waiting… (2005), Just Friends (2005), Mississippi Grind (2015), Life (2017), and arguably his most popular role, Deadpool (2016).

As with all big budget movies, there’s loads of CGI and animation used throughout the movie. Most of the CGI is very obvious and looks like shit. If it’s gonna look like shit, just don’t put it in the fucking movie. I’d rather not see it at all than have to be taken out of it due to some shit CGI animals or action sequence.

Reynolds’ co-star, Kenneth Branagh, plays Nikolai Ustinov, the Russian guy who loves America and has a terrible accent. He sounds like a French Canadian dumbass. I was just waiting for him to yell, “Tabarnack!” His fight scenes and comedic timing are great, and like Reynolds, Branagh has many great roles under his belt. Marcin Dorocinski, portraying Alexander Volkov, was really the only non-Russian to do a good English speaking Russian accent. I’m not sure why they decided not to have any main roles played by Russian actors, considering the setting of the movie is in fucking Russia. Probably because all Russian actors are dead in a ditch in Ukraine.

The acting in this movie is really good, but not too great. Some performances were fantastic, with others leaving you wondering why they went with that cut. Even though his accent was terrible, Kenneth Branagh was surprisingly funny. If you like Ryan Reynolds, you’ll like this movie. The comedic moments and jokes are great; they kept me laughing through the entire movie, with the exception of a few scenes that I found boring and drawn out.

The action in this movie is typical of all action comedies, especially that of the buddy comedy variety. It’s over the top, full of gags and jokes, and isn’t technically impressive. It’s not like the John Wick series. There’s no intense training for the roles, no accurate depictions of real fight scenes, gun use, and the like. This movie can be compared to movies such as Uncharted (2022), or any other Ryan Reynolds movie would be a fair comparison. Now, if you were to try and compare this, or any of his movies, to, say… Lethal Weapon (1987), Big Trouble in Little China (1986), Beverly Hills Cop (1984), or any other ’80s action movie, you’d just be a fucking fool. The ’80s had better action movies than any made today. It’s been some time since we’ve been treated to a good action movie with practical effects being the prominent form of “special effects” used at the time.

That being said, the movie did deliver exactly what they were going for: a simple yet funny buddy comedy between an American and a Russian during the late period of the Cold War, sprinkling in some mediocre CGI action scenes along with all the jokes and gags throughout. It’s not something you’re really going to remember next week. Heck, you’ll most likely be able to watch it again in a couple of months and it’ll be like the first time seeing it. That’s how unmemorable the movie is after watching it. But isn’t that the same with all Reynolds’ movies?

The soundtrack to the movie is good, action packed and comedic, with a good amount of American “classic” tapes owned by the America loving Nikolai Ustinov. As is the same with damn near all newer movies, the soundtrack is just enough to fit the movie and nothing special.

Nikolai Ustinov’s daughter, Anna Ustinov, played by Maria Bakalova, is obviously a closeted lesbian freedom fighter. Now that’s what I call inclusive diversity! Maria Bakalova is crazy hot. I don’t know your thoughts, but to me, she is. I was sitting here hoping that Reynolds and her were gonna fuck at some point until finding out she’s closeted. Could have given us a nude scene at least, maybe her changing. Hell, even her shitting would have been hot.

In the end, I really don’t have much to say about this movie. Just another fun Ryan Reynolds comedy. However, I can say I did enjoy it. The acting was very good, the comedy kept me laughing, it was visually pleasing, and overall just a fun watch. If you want to turn your brain off, stuff your face with popcorn, and have a couple laughs, this movie will do you good. Otherwise, don’t waste your time.

⭐⭐⭐⬛⬛ – Acting

⭐⭐⬛⬛⬛ – Action 

⭐⭐⬛⬛⬛ – CGI

⭐⭐⭐⭐⬛ – Comedy

Overall Rating: 5.5 / 10

An acceptable Ryan Reynold’s movie that doesn’t break the mould. If you like typical Ryan Reynold’s slop movies, you might as well waste your time watching this one and get fatter by eating popcorn and potato chips.