Graphics are overrated.
I’ve been looking for a game that allows me to just “chill.” Nothing fancy. No in-your-face graphics of a Latina’s booty shaking in front of you (GTA VI). Just a game where you log in, do some stuff, and log out.
So, while I was browsing Steam, I came across something that looked interesting to me. BatMUD describes itself as a “text-based medieval fantasy massively multiplayer online game with an extremely rich set of features…”
I was intrigued.
A game without sophisticated graphics, focusing on substance over presentation. I can appreciate that, especially because BatMUD actually delivers when it comes to complexity. I played it for roughly forty hours, creating a gigantic cyclops named Balzerak One-Eye. Character creation is done through their website, and the game itself is free.
You can pay $5.69 CAD for it on Steam, which gives you a launcher and a customized UI. It’s very cheap for what it offers, but it isn’t necessary if you just want to play the game. The gameplay takes place almost entirely through text, where you need to manually input commands. Want to go east? Type “E.” Want to search a room? Type “search room.” You get the idea.
It took me a while, but eventually I was able to complete the tutorial. The tutorial is actually very good for such an old game. Yes, there is a lot of reading, but you’re playing a MUD. Obviously there is going to be a lot of reading. GOD! Everyone is so needy these days.
In all seriousness, the tutorial actually shows you how to do things. One section teaches you how to kill mobs, how to target them, how to loot them, etc. You aren’t sitting down and reading a gigantic book of tutorials before you’re allowed to play. BatMUD teaches you the gameplay through the gameplay, which is fantastic.
Once you’re done with the tutorial, you can basically do whatever you want. There are five “backgrounds” you can pick, which open up different classes and guilds later: Nomad, Civilized, Magical, Good, and Evil.
I picked Nomad, which opened up options like Ranger, Beastlord, and Barbarian. I eventually went with Ranger, but you don’t just “pick” your class from a menu. You need to actually adventure across the world, find the guild hall, and speak to them.
So that became my first “real quest”: travelling across the island to find where the Rangers hang out.
I’m still not well versed in all the mechanics, but it seems that actual players can hold positions of authority within guilds. You’re even able to challenge someone for guild leadership through combat. It’s pretty cool!
I also really like how the Ranger works in this game. It isn’t just “guy with bow who wears green.” Rangers focus on wilderness survival, exploration, pathfinding, building camps, and starting fires. I love that flavour.
There’s something inherently satisfying about playing a nine-foot-tall cyclops wandering through the woods with a gigantic great axe, building himself a campfire when he gets tired, and occasionally having a pigeon sitting on his shoulder.
That’s Balzerak One-Eye.
A simple man.
A large man.
A man who enjoys the woods.
I have encountered other people playing the game. Usually they’re standing around towns or talking in global chat. There doesn’t seem to be a tremendous amount of mandatory “roleplay” compared to some other MUDs, but that’s okay. It’s my first MUD, so I’m glad I don’t need to write some sophisticated twenty-page backstory explaining why Balzerak One-Eye developed an intense psychological attachment to firewood.
You gain EXP through exploration, killing monsters, and completing quests. As a Ranger, I’m naturally more inclined toward exploration.
The exploration mechanic, however, isn’t really about travelling around the open world. Instead, you gain exploration experience by discovering new “rooms” inside different areas and dungeons. And “dungeons” don’t necessarily mean little caves or ruined castles. Some are forests, parks, and other outdoor environments.
This is where the Ranger naturally shines.
Grouping is also very common in this game. As a Ranger, I can provide better pathfinding and campfires for a group. Good-aligned religious characters can become healers and clerics who keep everyone alive. Perhaps a Riftwalker can join your group and summon creatures. All of this stuff is possible.
You can even just be a Bard and write and sing songs for other people.
It’s an old style of game design. The idea that you’re not merely playing a game, but creating another little life inside of it. You can hang out in a tavern, drink your virtual ale, and discuss stories about where you’ve been and how you got there.
That’s something sadly missing from a lot of modern MMOs.
I don’t care about some pick-up group doing a Mythic+ dungeon.
BORING!
I’d rather spoon my own eyeballs out than watch another Huntard kill the entire group because he was too busy gooning to Asmongold.
There’s something far more appealing to me about wandering through an enormous text-based world as a gigantic cyclops Ranger, getting lost in the wilderness, discovering some strange little dungeon, killing whatever unfortunate creature happens to be standing there, making a campfire, and logging off.
There isn’t necessarily some gigantic objective hanging over your head.
You just exist.
And sometimes that’s exactly what I want from a game.
I recommend BatMUD, but only if you’re interested in a slow fantasy RPG where you can largely do whatever you want. Obviously, if you’re not a fan of reading or typing commands, it’s probably best to avoid this one entirely.
But if the idea of disappearing into an ancient fantasy world that feels like it somehow survived on the internet long after it was supposed to die sounds appealing, there’s a surprising amount here to enjoy.
Review:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⬛ Core Gameplay
Fun, but it can be daunting to figure out what you’re actually supposed to do. There are plenty of quests and adventures to be had, but so much gets thrown at you all at once that it can overwhelm simple minds such as myself.
⭐⭐⭐⬛⬛ Replayability
Reincarnation is actually a core mechanic of the game, allowing you to continually level, reincarnate, and improve your character in different ways. I won’t focus too heavily on that because I haven’t reached that stage and probably never will.
It is fun to load BatMUD up every now and then, wander around for a few hours, and see what happens. It just doesn’t have my full attention.
⭐⭐⭐⬛⬛ Atmosphere
Surprisingly, there is a genuine charm to this game.
There isn’t any music, which takes away one obvious tool for building atmosphere, but the atmosphere instead comes from the text descriptions, ASCII maps, strange locations, old-school interface, and the general sensation that you’re playing something so ancient that it probably shouldn’t exist anymore.
And yet it does.
That adds tremendously to the flavour for me.
Overall Rating: 6.6 / 10
The Philistine Review 
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