The Runner (2026) Movie Review

Gal Gadot gallops through a garishly gnarly movie that’s…garbage.

By: Jason N. Mulhall

This movie had no poster, so I made my own.

Opening on an average day in London England, with surveillance cameras on every street corner, and phones in everyone’s hands. It’s missing one thing… what could it be I wonder? Oh yeah! It’s the mass amount of illegal migrants raping women and beheading men in the streets. Come on people, where’s the inclusivity! 

Getting a glimpse of what she has to put up with and the trajectory of her life, I’m shocked and empowered by her resilience. I mean come on, her kid has diabetes. That’s gotta be really hard on a mother… I feel bad for her, maybe she should strangle that little life ruining shit. 

People act like Gal Gadot is super hot, but she was only hot during Wonder Woman (2017). Before and after that she’s not so great. Let’s take a look back at her in Fast & Furious (2009), she honestly looks like an underdeveloped highschooler. They’re really trying to show her as hot in her workout fit for this movie, showing her ass a lot (not bad… not great). She’s got a bum where you’d like her laying down on her stomach so you can spread it easy and stick it in. 

The concept of this movie is a fun one. However, it has been done a lot. Abduction movies have always been a thing, with the tag line “What would you do for your kid?” or “How far would you go for your children?” So many of which were done so much better than this. Movies like Taken (2008), Abduction (2019), Without a Trace (1983). I could list them forever, and all of what I list will be better than this slop.

VERY BAD TIMING for this movie to come out, what with all these mothers strangling their kids every other day. Unless this is their attempt at changing the narrative. “No, no, no, mothers don’t want to kill their kids! See? Gal Gadot loves her son in this movie!” So don’t worry guys, that girl you’re about to marry won’t one day slaughter your kids for tiktok views, or to be like her new found heroes. 

OoOhHhh! We find out she’s a single mom, and had the kid without a man and instead, a sperm donor (VERY EMPOWERING!) Looks like you still need a man to create life… who knew? I don’t know if you know this, but we don’t need women to have kids anymore. We can create a synthesized egg and have children without women. Rejoice gay men. “I’m a strong independent bitch, I ain’t need no man.” As a kid herself, her mother killed her father but claims she’s innocent…. maybe that’ll change. Well, come to find out that she killed her father, after all he was an abusive drunk. So that merits murder rather than a domestic dispute charge. But it was a white man, and we know all too well that white men have no souls in our society. (Black Power!)

This movie heavily touches on the fact that people are helplessly addicted to their devices. Showing us just how digitally unprotected we really are. We have no privacy, no secrets. And that, if they wanted, people can see everything we do. It also portrays our use and dependency on AI, and how it can be used for criminal purposes. 

SHE GOT FUCKING SMOKED BY A CAR!!! She wakes up a few minutes later, breaks out of the ambulance and starts running again likes its fuck all to her. Women can do what your average man could NEVER do.

Oh no! She gets her phone stolen while on the train. Time to fucking CHASE A TRAIN across the city to get it back (Remember: She’s just an average mom).  Leading to the only accurate depiction in this movie. Once she gets her phone back from the criminal who stole it (a white guy), she’s now chased by the police as if she’s in the wrong. Now that’s something you can expect out of the UK today, the criminal is always the victim. I mean she’s got a gun, but come on! Her phone was stolen, what should she have done? Sucked him off for it back? 

These shots are – Absolute. Fucking. Dog. Shit. These camera shots used throughout were shot by a blind man. Especially during the never ending running scenes, train tunnel scenes, and damn near everywhere else in between. It was very reminiscent of the Darude Sandstorm music video. Dear lord, I haven’t seen this shit since the late 90’s, early 2000’s. This camera work should have gone along with the trend of using a fish eye lens in the 90’s.    

Like all these shit movies that really have no story or anyone with a brain behind the writing. We get very long drawn out filler scenes where nothing is happening. If something does happen it’s absolute bullshit that has nothing to do with the movie. The dialogue is terrible, honestly the only one delivering a decent performance is the abductor, who we don’t even get to know about or see until the end of the movie. I can’t believe this shit passes onto production with no one saying “What the fuck is this shit?”. But that’s why horror movies are big right now, because they’re the easiest to write. AI wrote this script.

The music throughout the movie is just intensive chase, thriller, gotta go fast shit. The one song that plays when she’s trying to catch the train reminds me of AI music. Really nothing noteworthy, basic music for a movie about someone running all over a fucking city just to save a kid she’ll probably kill later to be free to party and fuck. Given the average woman’s stance on kids nowadays, I don’t see this kid living long after this shit he’s gotten into. She’s gonna lord this over his head his whole life if he isn’t dead in the next year by her hand.

BIG ‘OL PLOT TWIST, she’s been working with the cops the whole time. Now isn’t that something. Leaving notes along her path to save her son…clever girl! Back to those wonderful camera angles I mentioned earlier. Well, those were all done to hide the clever little notes she’d left for random people to take seriously and report. As if anyone would actually do anything. Bitch, no one cares. No one would actually get involved over some vague note left by some clearly crazy disheveled cunt screaming at herself. No, in the real world, no one would help.

All the signs and “hidden details” were very obviously placed and shown throughout the movie. Like you’d have to be brain dead not to catch them, or even ask yourself “WTF is she doing here?” at some point throughout the movie. They really didn’t make it much of a surprise as to how the end was going to play out.

As per usual with female lead roles, heroines and the like… It’s a happy ending to be had by all. Like always, the woman saves the day better than any man could hope to. Proving that women are all we need in this shitty male dominated world we live in.

All said, only watch this if you have absolutely nothing else you’d rather suffer through. Perhaps if you’re a masochist who enjoys self flagellation. Otherwise, if you’re a woman that happens to not be a Lindsay Clancy supporter, then maybe you’ll enjoy this one. But if you are, then I’m sorry to disappoint you, the kid lives.

⭐⬛⬛⬛⬛- Storyline

⭐⬛⬛⬛⬛- Technical Skills

⭐⬛⬛⬛⬛- Acting

⭐⭐⬛⬛⬛- Gal Gadot’s Bum

Overall Score: 2.5 / 10

Pass on this movie unless you’re really desperate to see Gal Gadot’s mediocre ass.